i can answer some of the general Qs...i'll wait for the BFV guys to chime in on the bfv specific stuff.
The patch file should be in your levels folder with all the other maps. Just make sure you don't have the modded file in YOUR levels folder on your computer. I would do that again and see what happens. If you get some sort of error, or crash connecting to the server, you did something wrong, and should probably post your code here. If nothing works, and its in the right place, I would check the file structure of your patchfile.